Genuine and sincere email:

“I can’t believe it took us a year and a half to get out a bunch of features that our customers were asking about 3 years ago. Is the biggest feature in this release really an icon next to the name? You can tell Bob if he had gotten his work done in the first half of the project he wouldn’t be the worst father of all time…I know, I know you can’t really blame Bob because it’s Jim’s fault for slacking on the design…I know, I know Jim couldn’t get started until he had to completely rewrite the crappy requirements he was given by PM after the executive gutted all of the salient features out of it. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter because the only install we really have doesn’t seem to be able to keep their server up in production. Did you guys QA this thing or just throw it over the wall? You know, next time we should have some customers test the software before we release….”