I was opening a CD yesterday [1] and for some reason I actually read the “customer information” leaflet included in the packaging. I have to admit it has to be one of the more ridiculous things I’ve ever seen. Not only is it absurd, but I can’t imagine anybody returns them. Ever.

I starts with a reasonable premise. “So that we may keep you informed of new releases, please fill out both sides of this card and return in an envelope to the address on the back.” Which I can see as compelling, assuming I had never heard of the Internet. Then it asks for my name and address. OK, they have to get a hold of me somehow (remember, I have never heard of the Internet). Next they ask for my business phone number, in case they need to tell me about a new release and I am at work. Then the mobile phone number, in case of an emergency new release of new music. Of course they need my date of birth, to make sure I’m mature enough to handle the new music. Next they want to know the name of the CD in which the card was found. This makes sense because there is no way they could know this information. It isn’t like they packaged the damn thing in the first place. Then comes my favorite — average household income. I’m not sure how they could possibly send me updates without this. How else would they tell if I could afford the music, right? Although you are out of luck if you earn more than $124,999. Clearly if you earn this much, your butler buys music for you. Of course they need to know the shows I watch and the magazines I read (who doesn’t read Gramaphone Magazine?), and what I listen to my music on/in. Only after that do we get to the updates section where I tell them what kind of updates I would like. Oh, and finally, don’t forget the stamped envelope.

Seems like a lot of work to get the same functionality as one click on Amazon or iTunes, no? Anybody shocked these guys missed the digital music market?

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[1] yes, I still buy CDs